Liquid Gold

I know this is somewhat of a controversial topic, but I wanted a place to record my thoughts and feelings about breastfeeding. I have several friends that are expecting and have been asking questions about my experiences so here we go...

From the moment that I found out I was pregnant, I made a huge goal for myself to breastfeed my son. I read everything I could find on breastfeeding and asked all the moms I knew about their experiences. I wanted to have all the knowledge about breastfeeding that I could so that I could give it 110% effort. I knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but I felt like it would be the best for me and my son.

I was right, it is not EASY! It is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done, but TOTALLY worth it. The whole process is so amazing that you must know their is a GOD. Let me say this before I go any further, I understand not everyone can or chooses to breastfed and I am not condemning you at all.

In the hospital, I requested to have Caleb as soon as I could to try to breastfeed. I am so thankful that Caleb was healthy and I was able to try feeding him within 2 hours of birth. When I first tried to feed him, I had so many emotions --- excitement, nervousness, insecurities, fear.... Thankfully I had a wonderful nurse helping me. She showed me how to hold Caleb and how to encourage him to latch on. He was having obvious trouble latching on so we tried the sugar water technique. Still no success! I was very nervous at this point, because I had my head set on not supplementing with formula. She told me that it would be ok if Caleb did not eat for a few hours and since I was tired to get some rest and she would bring him back to me after I got some rest. I agreed because I was EXHAUSTED. When she returned with Caleb, she had a nipple shield with her--- who knew that would be the missing piece to my puzzle. As soon as she showed me how to use the shield--- he LATCHED on and ouch!!!! I was so excited, but I am not going to lie it was not a pleasant feeling! She told me to let him nurse on each side for about 10 minutes. He did a wonderful job and I was feeling so much better about breastfeeding!

Needless to say, I continued using the shield at each feeding at the hospital. The nurse told me not to use it all the time, but I could not get Caleb to latch on without it. Therefore, why mess up something that's working??? When I got home from the hospital, Caleb feed nearly every 3 hours. My milk did not come in until day 5 and I was praying so hard for it to come in, I felt like I was starving Caleb. He lost a pound as a result.

God answered my prayers-- and WOW did my milk come in. I still remember it very well, we were at the hospital for a juandice check when I felt my milk let down for the first time. I looked at my mom and said WE NEED TO GET HOME NOW, I HAVE GOT TO PUMP! She laughed and we hurried home. By the time I got home, I had boobs under my armpits! ha! I pumped and got some relief, but I felt like they were filling up with more milk. My right boob got HUGE! I did not realize it until it was almost too late, I was engorged! OUCH is an understatement. I tried to pump and nothing came out. I knew that there was milk inside because those of you that know me know that my boobs are not normally a size D. I tried to let Caleb feed on the engorged boob, and no luck :( I had a clogged milk duct and it was extremely painful. I quickly became emotional and began to freak out. I had heard about the infection that you can get and I did not want to experience that. Thank God for my awesome husband and mom, they called the doctor and were googling treatments. We decided to put heat on the engorgement and then massage the spot out. I found the best thing to use was a rice pack- It stays hot much longer than a washcloth. I would put the rice pack on there for about 30 minutes, then (I know this is TMI) Daniel would massage the spot with all his strength-- It was very tender, but I knew it had to be done. We repeated this process about every 2 hours and by the morning we had finally worked out the clogged milk duct.

After that minor set back, things began to finally fall into place. Every time I would feed Caleb he would be in a milk coma and would stay full for nearly 4 hours. I had lots of extra milk so I would pump out the extra. As he became more use to the milk, he started eating more frequently. That's when I got overwhelmed again (yes I am a worrier). I would feed Caleb for 20-25 minutes then I would pump for 15 minutes and then clean everything up. Then I would have about an hour and a half and have to start all over again. I was stressing myself out trying to pump after each feeding. I talked to several successful breastfeeding moms and they encouraged me to drop the pumping and just enjoy the nursing time I had with Caleb. So I did, and at the time that was the best decision I could have made. I relaxed so much more and was actually able to enjoy the special bonding time with my son. When people tell you how special breastfeeding is, it is hard to understand when you have never experienced it. But it is such a truly wonderful time with your child. There is nothing better than looking in their precious eyes knowing that they are depending on you for all their nourishment. 

I know this is lengthy and if you have made it this far I'm impressed. Breastfeeding is very demanding and time consuming, but TOTALLY worth it. I know that if Caleb was formula fed he would probably sleep for longer stretches and I would be able to go more places, but I am ok with not having those luxuries right now. Caleb is growing like a weed and seems very healthy! I also contribute my weight lose to breastfeeding- I am now back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Although things may not be in the same place as they once were and my body is much "softer", I can tell things are slowly getting back to normal. I am just so thankful that I did not give up when the going got tough.

 I encourage all of you out there that want to give it a try- not to GIVE UP. Hang in there!  Do not be discouraged if things do go not according to the books. You have to do what works best for you and your baby! Yes I realize that some people are not able to breastfeed for various reasons and I am not putting you down in any way.

Just for fun, I will leave you with a picture of my "porker" in his little man clothes. This is his first and last time to wear this outfit :( It's already too tight! Caleb is 7 weeks old tomorrow and weighing around 13 pounds. Time sure does need to slow down!